How to wring out every bit of goodness during your gift exchange

There will be an empty chair  as we open presents with my family this year.  And I hope that wonderful man’s love for the slower, mindful pace, even on Christmas morning, will not be forgotten. Ours has been one of those families where each person takes their turn opening one present at a time, and saying thank you before moving onto the next person.   It m...
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How to use envy to your advantage

You're scrolling through Instagram and come upon a picture of someone's gorgeous vacation spot, idyllic corner in their home, exclusive event they're attending, and it hits you...your mood shifts, and suddenly your own life feels just a bit less "okay". FOMO can really get triggered during "fairytale" events like royal weddings, or coverage of galas or award shows like the Osc...
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Why self-compassion is a prerequisite for mindfulness

Maybe one of these sounds familiar? You're behind on several tasks at home or work and that dark feeling of delinquency comes over you saying "What is wrong with me? ... Everyone else is on top things." Or your spouse comes home in a rotten mood and suddenly you feel kind of bad about yourself saying "They wouldn't be talking to me like this if I had... or I hadn't...." ...
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Make space in your life to be present

It’s the Wednesday after holiday traditions that are essentially the polar opposite of minimalism...Thanksgiving dinner and Black Friday/CyberMonday shopping. Maybe it's an odd time to be talking about the benefits of minimizing. Or maybe it's the perfect time. Because the main point of minimalism and mindfulness is to make space for noticing the good in your life. Minim...
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How to Feel Powerful, More of the Time

You've just spent the week working on a project that you're feeling quite good about actually. Sitting in the team meeting, waiting to give your update, you are reasonably expecting to get some kudos from your boss afterward. But that's not what happens. She drills you with some out-of-left field questions and leaves you feeling ambushed as she moves on the next agenda i...
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How Mindfulness Improves Attention Problems

ADHD and other attention problems are emotional. They are frustrating for loved ones, teachers and coworkers. And they cause guilt for those who suffer from them. This is a personal issue for me. As a child I struggled with attention for schoolwork, and I was ashamed of it. I remember feeling like an alien watching my classmates quietly work on assignments. I just couldn...
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The problem with certainty

Certainty is a basic human need. Who doesn’t yearn to have certainty that their family will be happy and safe, their financial lives will be secure, and their spouse and friends will have their back? But feeling too much certainty about other people can be warning sign. One of the first steps in my journey to a visible self, was the realization that I had a lot more ‘cer...
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This shift makes a huge difference

Do you feel like you're giving a lot... to your partner, family and work... but it's not hitting the mark like you thought it would? If the answer is yes, you are not alone. There was a time in my own life that I felt this way. I thought that being my "best self" meant I should focus on others as much as possible. I worked in the helping professions, and I spent a lot of tim...
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The Do’s and Don’ts of Persuasion

  It may not always seem like it, but fundamentally we all change in a similar way. Ideally in childhood our parents let us experience an appropriate amount of uncomfortable consequences when we acted out. By experiencing this discomfort, we identified our own personal reasons why the behavior (or misbehavior) was not in our best interest. And ideally, this mechanis...
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How to avoid the most common obstacle to change

It's Tuesday morning and you are three days into your new clean eating plan. You've been feeling great and proud of yourself. But this morning was rough. You got up late, the kids were arguing the entire way to school, and now you are facing that box of donuts in the break room with far less resolve than you had about skipping dessert last night. This is where the ...
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How to find your authenticity

In a great 90's movie, "City Slickers", the weathered and wise "Curley" torments Billy Crystal's character by promising the answer to one of life's greatest questions..."What's the meaning of life?"  Even my ears perked up at the thought of this answer somehow being delivered by the end of the movie.  Eventually Billy Crystal's character does come to his own understanding of th...
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