How to Feel Powerful, More of the Time

You've just spent the week working on a project that you're feeling quite good about actually. Sitting in the team meeting, waiting to give your update, you are reasonably expecting to get some kudos from your boss afterward. But that's not what happens. She drills you with some out-of-left field questions and leaves you feeling ambushed as she moves on the next agenda i...
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How to be vulnerable and strong at the same time

  At our core, we are all vulnerable. It doesn’t matter how tough, sarcastic or stoic we’ve learned to be. We can’t be authentic but not vulnerable at times. In relationships, vulnerable feelings like sadness and fear draw us into connection with others. They create our appetite for closeness. But without the proper attention, our vulnerability can drive communicatio...
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What to Say When: “You’re afraid someone is angry with you”

This weekend my husband and I stumbled into a conversation that turned our nice dinner out into a frosty misunderstanding. We were talking about something light and nostalgic, when somehow one of my comments gave my husband the impression that I was trying to “pick a fight” with him. I wasn't. In my mind, I was recalling a memory. But soon after I experienced what felt like an ...
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Five Lessons I Had to Learn to Be Better In My Relationships

I stand before you on this Valentine’s Day, immensely grateful for the wisdom I found rather late in my life. I turned 40 this year. And if I could tell my 20-something self that I would be 36 before getting married, I probably would’ve lost my marbles. Or more likely, I wouldn’t have believed it, because I was blind to the relationship truths I’m going to share with you today…...
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10 Things To Do for Yourself This Holiday Season

The holidays can be the time of year that we most fully 'lose' ourselves in busyness or harsh self-talk. We all have our personal ways that self-judgment or others’ judgment can threaten the experience of joy this season. So below is a list of things to keep in your mind and heart as you move forward in the next week. Remember yourself, not just the to-do list. Ther...
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How a “Mindfulness Bucket” will improve your relationships

The "self" acts a lot like water. In this video I introduce more about the idea of your "Mindfulness Bucket" which I presented with an earlier infographic. Our attention, energy, and patience are not in unending supply. Those parts of our self are our precious natural resources. And just like water, we need a bucket to contain, care for, cons...
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Why mindfulness can’t be optional

  Have you ever tried to slow down and be more mindful? I have. For a long time, I sincerely intended to make mindfulness a priority, but I would eventually fall into my autopilot habits like over-thinking and an over-focus on problem-solving. It felt right to focus on finding solutions and the stuff that need to be done. But there is something we must remember......
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The problem with certainty

Certainty is a basic human need. Who doesn’t yearn to have certainty that their family will be happy and safe, their financial lives will be secure, and their spouse and friends will have their back? But feeling too much certainty about other people can be warning sign. One of the first steps in my journey to a visible self, was the realization that I had a lot more ‘cer...
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20 Signs You Are Invisible in Your Relationships

Do any of these things sound familiar? You feel like a lot of things in your life need changing. From the outside, it probably looks to others like your relationship with your partner or spouse is more okay than it actually feels. You feel taken-for-granted at work and/or home quite frequently. When you think about mindfulness, it honestly seems like a waste of ti...
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The Do’s and Don’ts of Persuasion

  It may not always seem like it, but fundamentally we all change in a similar way. Ideally in childhood our parents let us experience an appropriate amount of uncomfortable consequences when we acted out. By experiencing this discomfort, we identified our own personal reasons why the behavior (or misbehavior) was not in our best interest. And ideally, this mechanis...
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How to find your authenticity

In a great 90's movie, "City Slickers", the weathered and wise "Curley" torments Billy Crystal's character by promising the answer to one of life's greatest questions..."What's the meaning of life?"  Even my ears perked up at the thought of this answer somehow being delivered by the end of the movie.  Eventually Billy Crystal's character does come to his own understanding of th...
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