The Hidden Mindfulness Lesson of Hygge

I was driving home after doing errands Saturday, and as I sat at the stoplight before my street, I thought of something I wanted to share with you about “hygge”…. that Danish ritual of coziness that’s become so popular in the UK and now the US. Hygge is all about drinking in moments of coziness … Both the physical kind like bundling up in your warmest socks and swe...
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What Abby Knows About Mindfulness

This is Abby our 10-year old pointer-collie mix. She is smart as a whip, amazing at communicating what she wants, but also one of the most gentle, loving and serene souls I have ever encountered. (Just look at that smile.) Abby wants you to join VisibleU (and so do I) because she knows that you really can strike a balance of... Presence to the really good moments in life (l...
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How to Embrace Authentic Mindfulness in 2019

Do you ever feel like you're not "zen" enough? There are a lot of cliches out there about what mindfulness is supposed to look like. "Mindfulness is drinking tea, rather than coffee"  "Mindfulness is feeling grateful on-demand" Or "Mindfulness is exerting a kind of zen acceptance of difficulties and not getting upset" And I get mindfully annoyed when I see these kinds o...
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How to wring out every bit of goodness during your gift exchange

There will be an empty chair  as we open presents with my family this year.  And I hope that wonderful man’s love for the slower, mindful pace, even on Christmas morning, will not be forgotten. Ours has been one of those families where each person takes their turn opening one present at a time, and saying thank you before moving onto the next person.   It m...
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Make space in your life to be present

It’s the Wednesday after holiday traditions that are essentially the polar opposite of minimalism...Thanksgiving dinner and Black Friday/CyberMonday shopping. Maybe it's an odd time to be talking about the benefits of minimizing. Or maybe it's the perfect time. Because the main point of minimalism and mindfulness is to make space for noticing the good in your life. Minim...
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How to Feel Powerful, More of the Time

You've just spent the week working on a project that you're feeling quite good about actually. Sitting in the team meeting, waiting to give your update, you are reasonably expecting to get some kudos from your boss afterward. But that's not what happens. She drills you with some out-of-left field questions and leaves you feeling ambushed as she moves on the next agenda i...
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Use fear at the right time

Isn’t it amazing how much your thinking can change with your mood? When my fear is triggered, I can question things that in any other moment I know are quite secure. It’s something to respect about our humanity. Fear doesn’t just change how we think. Fear changes what we think. Fear activates a kind of supercomputer that runs through an astounding number of possibilities, ch...
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How Mindfulness Improves Attention Problems

ADHD and other attention problems are emotional. They are frustrating for loved ones, teachers and coworkers. And they cause guilt for those who suffer from them. This is a personal issue for me. As a child I struggled with attention for schoolwork, and I was ashamed of it. I remember feeling like an alien watching my classmates quietly work on assignments. I just couldn...
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What to Say When: “You’re afraid someone is angry with you”

This weekend my husband and I stumbled into a conversation that turned our nice dinner out into a frosty misunderstanding. We were talking about something light and nostalgic, when somehow one of my comments gave my husband the impression that I was trying to “pick a fight” with him. I wasn't. In my mind, I was recalling a memory. But soon after I experienced what felt like an ...
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How to have a good relationship with your anger

Anger serves an important purpose, but it must be managed. When we're angry, we may say things we later regret. Or we may not advocate for our needs by speaking up if something is bothering us. If either scenario fits for you, here are some ways to keep things in balance when it comes to anger: Get to know your personal anger signals. Maybe you internalized the idea...
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Five Lessons I Had to Learn to Be Better In My Relationships

I stand before you on this Valentine’s Day, immensely grateful for the wisdom I found rather late in my life. I turned 40 this year. And if I could tell my 20-something self that I would be 36 before getting married, I probably would’ve lost my marbles. Or more likely, I wouldn’t have believed it, because I was blind to the relationship truths I’m going to share with you today…...
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The 5 Surprising Benefits of Anger

Anger often gets a bad rap. It’s the feeling that we often judge as “wrong” or “bad.” But we can still get really angry... Scary angry at times. I've certainly been guilty of that myself. Just ask my husband. For a long time anger was only visible to me (and everyone else) when it was big...inaccurately big. I couldn't see my anger at the lower intensities, so it eventually...
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5 ways to be more self-compassionate

Instead of judging yourself harshly when you….Feel Angry…. Appreciate that anger is information. Anger tells you that you are reaching a tolerance limit and you need something. You may need distance from someone or something. You may need to take action, adjust course, or need to eat, rest or connect with someone for support. Instead of judging yourself harshly when you….Mak...
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Commit to a ‘Judgment-Free January’ (a FREE e-course)

  As you wade through the many articles, blogs and products promising to  help you lose weight, win that promotion, and every other goal you might have for the new year, I invite you to consider one more resolution: Join me in committing to a Judgment-Free January - a FREE email course you can begin throughout the month of January. Judgment, the harsh emotional k...
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10 Things To Do for Yourself This Holiday Season

The holidays can be the time of year that we most fully 'lose' ourselves in busyness or harsh self-talk. We all have our personal ways that self-judgment or others’ judgment can threaten the experience of joy this season. So below is a list of things to keep in your mind and heart as you move forward in the next week. Remember yourself, not just the to-do list. Ther...
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How a “Mindfulness Bucket” will improve your relationships

The "self" acts a lot like water. In this video I introduce more about the idea of your "Mindfulness Bucket" which I presented with an earlier infographic. Our attention, energy, and patience are not in unending supply. Those parts of our self are our precious natural resources. And just like water, we need a bucket to contain, care for, cons...
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Why mindfulness can’t be optional

  Have you ever tried to slow down and be more mindful? I have. For a long time, I sincerely intended to make mindfulness a priority, but I would eventually fall into my autopilot habits like over-thinking and an over-focus on problem-solving. It felt right to focus on finding solutions and the stuff that need to be done. But there is something we must remember......
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20 Signs You Are Invisible in Your Relationships

Do any of these things sound familiar? You feel like a lot of things in your life need changing. From the outside, it probably looks to others like your relationship with your partner or spouse is more okay than it actually feels. You feel taken-for-granted at work and/or home quite frequently. When you think about mindfulness, it honestly seems like a waste of ti...
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This shift makes a huge difference

Do you feel like you're giving a lot... to your partner, family and work... but it's not hitting the mark like you thought it would? If the answer is yes, you are not alone. There was a time in my own life that I felt this way. I thought that being my "best self" meant I should focus on others as much as possible. I worked in the helping professions, and I spent a lot of tim...
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The power of your autopilot

Don't underestimate the power of your autopilot. Learning to drive a manual-transmission car is the best metaphor I can think of to explain mindlessness, and the relationship between the conscious and autopilot parts of your mind. Automatic transmissions may work just fine to translate your intended direction via the steering wheel, gas pedal and brakes. But people are ofte...
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Why feeling stress is necessary for happiness

If you ask yourself  "How do I feel right now?" Is there a ready answer? Very often, to be successful in our society, we must pump up our thinking abilities.  Many of us lead very rich thinking lives and we certainly benefit in practical ways because  of it.  We must be able to problem solve and analyze and wordsmith.  So if you are a skilled thinker, it can be easy to s...
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